John is senior at Mayville High School and has been friends with Petey and Jeff for some time. He likes to make short films in his spare time, some of which have won awards at the Mayville Film Festival. He decided to submit some of his videos to Pointless TV. Boy, Get in the Pine Tree is a tear jerking story of an cruel father. Lo Siento San Nicolas is his debut foreign film about a Christmas mishap and his vision of cereal and humanity is presented in his attention-grabbing short titled Yum Yum. John plans on going to medical school to become a doctor. His imagination and his determination is bound to get him far no matter what.

Alias:
Bleeding Cheetah

Special Abilities:
Aerosmith singing voice and unaided handspring.

If Pointless TV had $50,000:
I would ask Peter for money, Jeff is mean.

Dream cameos:
Bill Murray, Chris Farley and Martin Short.

If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?
A plan.